Members of the Otterburn Society have enjoyed the hospitality of the various hostelries in and around the village of Otterburn since the Society was founded in 1982.
The thirty first annual conference of the Otterburn Society was held in the comfort of the long established Percy Arms, Otterburn.
When the founder of the Otterburn Seminar, the late Dr Alan Reece decided, in what was to become his characteristically mischievous way, that undergraduates of the Department of Agricultural Engineering at the University of Newcastle upon Tyne should be required to present their design projects to the assembled department in the salubrious surroundings of Otterburn Hall, Northumberland, he could never have thought that neatly 50 years later, members of the Otterburn Society would return to Otterburn on the last week in November each year to continue this tradition.
A particularly sobering feature of the Undergraduate Seminars was the use of a toastmaster traffic light system to guide a member in his presentation. One cannot help to remember the relief seeing the red stop light requiring one to stop speaking, be it as a speaker being distracted by members in the audience or as a member of the audience listening to an uninspiring presentation.
The traditional three traffic light system operates green for speak, amber when you have a minute of your presentation left and red, when you are required to stop.
Over the years the members of the Otterburn Society have adopted a different method of letting a member know that he ought to bring his presentation to a close.
Any member is free to call “Blow your toggie !” at any time during a member’s presentation to indicate that he is bored with the subject matter or that the content appears to be anything other than the presenter’s own work… but it is not until the Chairman, in his defining gesture, who “tosses a toggie” across the table towards the member, to let the member know that his time has come to face the Honourable former Laird of Fingesk armed with an appropriate means of despatch.
Although the finale to a members presentation is always marked with a certain degree of anticipation, sometimes even fear, the short period of adrenalin rush and accelerated heartbeat lasts only until the toggie is despatched and the member is relieved to realises that all of his limbs are intact and he has not sustained any serious injury.
The traditions of the Otterburn Society are deep rooted but yet continue to develop.
At about 3pm on the Saturday, after an excellent lunch of soup & sandwiches, Chairman of the Otterburn Society, the acclaimed inventor of the Otterburn Syringe, Jeremy Featherstone Esq, brought the thirty first meeting of the Otterburn Society to order.
Mr Beck was invited to present first.
Mr Beck reminded the members of the traditional traffic light system used historically at the Hall and explained that he had concluded that the modern practice of simply “tossing a toggie” could be considered an inappropriate way to convey a message to to a member whilst presenting and that more appropriate (dramatic) means should be available to the Chairman to convey his view of the acceptability of a member’s presentation.
To this end Mr Beck announced that had developed the “Chairman’s Lectern”
The Chairman’s lectern, Mr Beck explained, had been developed to provide the Chairman with a variety of means both visual and audible and indeed physical to demonstrate his approval or otherwise with the quality of a member’s presentation.
The features of the Chairman’s lectern include:
1 Wolsey Decal, in acknowledgement of the importance of the Wolfgang award.
2 Spot light, adjustable, to enable the Chairman to over illuminate specific areas of a member’s presentation as required.
3 Side light
4 Wing light
5 Ship’s bell
6 Morris minor indicator (Trafficator)
7 Horn (Woolsey)
8 Water cannon
Mr Beck explained the process of product development that had been followed to produce the crafted masterpiece, a harmony of ancient and modern, a sympathetic blend of the practical and the dramatic !.
Following Mr Beck’s presentation, the Chairman positioned himself behind his Lectern for the rest of the proceedings.
It soon became obvious that the Chairman’s Lectern would become a valuable means of expression for the Chairman.
The Heraldic Officer, Mr Beattie had fallen into disgrace earlier that day by failing to arrange suitable means for the Standard of the Otterburn Society to be hoisted at the Percy Arms, his excuse being that the Percy doesn’t have a flag pole !
This excuse was of course accepted by the Chairman Featherstone who understood only too well the difficulties that can be experienced in trying to organise anything to do with Otterburn !. The Chairman was pleased to point out that the Standard was flying in Otterburn, all be it at the gates to the Tower.
Mr Beattie presented an Ode to Otterburn.
The Chairman was eager to assess the effectiveness of the various facilities available to him. The 55W spot light proved effective at distracting the member during his presentation
The Chairman also found the water cannon particularly easy to deploy. Both port and starboard cannon being equally effective at the intended range. Unfortunately the Chairman’s lectern was not equipped with a remote means to despatch a toggie however in the absence of the Honourable former Laird of Fingesk, Mr Beck was at hand to ensure that this was effected in the traditional way.
Other presentations were of a high standard but none approached that of Mr Beck’s in terms of the level of sound produced, not only by the subject of the presentation but the applaud of appreciation of the members.
Each member suffered varying levels of distraction during their presentation orchestrated by the Chairman using his new Lectern.
The Annual General Meeting was called to order by Mr Featherstone.
Mr Andy “MQ” Jordan was voted Treasurer of the Society whilst Danial F Woods was voted Secretary. Mr Featherstone was relieved to be able to retire as Chairman of the Society whilst big dick Tarn was elected Chairman.
It was agreed that the newly voted Chairman would ensure the safe custardy of the chairman’s lectern for his year in office and furthermore agreed to embellish the lectern with his own enhancement in recognition of that year.
Mr Beck was unanimously voted winner of the Wolfgang award for 2013 for his design and manufacture of the Chairman’s Lectern.
The Chairman presented the award to Mr Beck.
